[ his expression softens a little. it is true that the form has coloured his perception. he still remembers the changed loki and he can't help but fear an older, more powerful loki.
but he also meant what he said. ]
I would still like be around you. Even if you're a hellion. I have . . . enjoyed our conversations. No one can be accused of being bored when you are around.
If I hurt you by . . . treating you differently because of your form, I . . . apologize. I'm still getting used to . . . you. Us. But I am here to help. If I can.
I'll be a sad old man. [Like you, goes without saying.] And I won't know anything about memes.
[He sighs and sits down, older once more as he hugs his knees to his chest in a rather childish pose.]
In Asgard, barely anyone ever treated me like a child. I had to do everything I could to prove that I was different from him, that I could change.
But here, Stephen Strange took me into his home with little issue. Kate Bishop automatically granted me membership into the Young Avengers. Even Tony Stark is concerned for my well-being.
[And it's useful, yes, but the main reason he hates being treated like a child isn't because he wants to be seen as mature or equal to the others. It's because he doesn't feel as if he deserves any of the kindness offered to him.]
[ first of all, rude. loki sighs, sitting down as well, legs folded and across from the other loki. ]
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a child. And I don't think it's something you need to prove either way.
[ love . . . is for children after all. ]
You are not . . . welcomed simply because you are a child, though you're not wrong that it does play a part. But you're are also welcomed because people enjoy your company. And I imagine, despite any shifts, that will still hold true. We just get startled by change.
[ the "we" is important. for all lokis boast of handling change well, that is not necessarily the truth. ]
It does not mean it's never accepted. Or liked. But you need to make those choices.
[ why does loki do anything? he's quiet, thinking back to those final moments. ]
Sometimes, the despair wins. When you don't see a way out. No clever ruse, no sneaky side door. It is moments like that when you have to choose what kind of end you have to be.
[ a soft exhale. ]
Or I'm just being facetious. I know I did it for Thor. I wanted Thor to live. I didn't want to exist in a place where Thor didn't.
Out a perverse need to keep living, even if I'm expected to die and stay that way. That's why I started the theatre. It was meant to give me something to hold onto.
[The confession is seemingly out of nowhere, but sheās really all he could think about when the other Loki talked about Thor.
If she were here, she wouldāve laughed at him and insulted his new appearance nonstop. But she wouldāve understood immediately what it meant to him. She was still the only person who understood him fully, and one could cynically say thatās because Loki made her. But if that was true, why couldnāt the other Lokis understand him as easily?
Still, this was a start.
And that start is enough to end the link between their minds because! Lokiās hand is no longer on his forehead. How can it be, when heās two feet shorter than he was before?]
[ he'll just add that to the memories bouncing around. still . . . it must be nice. having a friend like that. a companion. loki always had thor for that, so he never truly sought anyone else and he found it difficult when thor's shadow covered him.
perhaps trying to act like they're all the same isn't beneficial. ]
[He's already dragging him inside and into a booth, deal with it!!]
These sorts of places were Leah and I's favorite. They have the best Midgardian cuisine! Now... you're a fan of chocolate, yes? Have you had cookies and cream? Or nutella?
[When a server comes by, Loki orders four shakes, a side of bacon, and two orders of fries. The meal of champions!]
Midgardian food is probably my favorite part of their culture, other than the internet. I can't help feeling sad when I remember the rest of us grew up without such inventions.
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[When your reference for a lifetime is only about a year and a half....]
If this fails, if I'm not able to shapeshift back, no one will want to be near me. Even Ikol is afraid of me now.
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but he also meant what he said. ]
I would still like be around you. Even if you're a hellion. I have . . . enjoyed our conversations. No one can be accused of being bored when you are around.
If I hurt you by . . . treating you differently because of your form, I . . . apologize. I'm still getting used to . . . you. Us. But I am here to help. If I can.
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[He sighs and sits down, older once more as he hugs his knees to his chest in a rather childish pose.]
In Asgard, barely anyone ever treated me like a child. I had to do everything I could to prove that I was different from him, that I could change.
But here, Stephen Strange took me into his home with little issue. Kate Bishop automatically granted me membership into the Young Avengers. Even Tony Stark is concerned for my well-being.
[And it's useful, yes, but the main reason he hates being treated like a child isn't because he wants to be seen as mature or equal to the others. It's because he doesn't feel as if he deserves any of the kindness offered to him.]
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There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a child. And I don't think it's something you need to prove either way.
[ love . . . is for children after all. ]
You are not . . . welcomed simply because you are a child, though you're not wrong that it does play a part. But you're are also welcomed because people enjoy your company. And I imagine, despite any shifts, that will still hold true. We just get startled by change.
[ the "we" is important. for all lokis boast of handling change well, that is not necessarily the truth. ]
It does not mean it's never accepted. Or liked. But you need to make those choices.
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... I still haven't heard your answer, you know. Why did Loki do it?
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Sometimes, the despair wins. When you don't see a way out. No clever ruse, no sneaky side door. It is moments like that when you have to choose what kind of end you have to be.
[ a soft exhale. ]
Or I'm just being facetious. I know I did it for Thor. I wanted Thor to live. I didn't want to exist in a place where Thor didn't.
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[It's asked genuinely, without any of the usual teasing.]
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Out a perverse need to keep living, even if I'm expected to die and stay that way. That's why I started the theatre. It was meant to give me something to hold onto.
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[The confession is seemingly out of nowhere, but sheās really all he could think about when the other Loki talked about Thor.
If she were here, she wouldāve laughed at him and insulted his new appearance nonstop. But she wouldāve understood immediately what it meant to him. She was still the only person who understood him fully, and one could cynically say thatās because Loki made her. But if that was true, why couldnāt the other Lokis understand him as easily?
Still, this was a start.
And that start is enough to end the link between their minds because! Lokiās hand is no longer on his forehead. How can it be, when heās two feet shorter than he was before?]
Thank you.
[Enjoy the memories of mini-Hela!]
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perhaps trying to act like they're all the same isn't beneficial. ]
You're welcome.
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Do you want to get milkshakes? To celebrate our not being old and/or blue.
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I've never tried it.
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Would they all have these milkshakes?
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People eat here?
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These sorts of places were Leah and I's favorite. They have the best Midgardian cuisine! Now... you're a fan of chocolate, yes? Have you had cookies and cream? Or nutella?
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I don't believe so.
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[When a server comes by, Loki orders four shakes, a side of bacon, and two orders of fries. The meal of champions!]
Midgardian food is probably my favorite part of their culture, other than the internet. I can't help feeling sad when I remember the rest of us grew up without such inventions.
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They do seem to have a lot of variety.
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[Asgard literally being on Earth helped, and unlike the rest of them, he wanted to acclimate to it as much as possible.
Once their food arrives, Loki pushes a chocolate shake towards his other self.]
This first! [He is slurping his own, having learned that sharing isn't wise from before when he showed shakes to Leah.]
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[He passes the fries over too.]
There are some who choose to dip, but I think it's fine enough having the two contrasting tastes in quick succession.
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