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[dothelokimotion]

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[thecoolerloki]

[He doesn't feel like he's hidden any of his nonsense so sees no reason to admit to anything! At least he's back to acting like a child again.]

Yay! Try this now! [pushing over the plate of bacon! And he unfreezes his shake too.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki huffs, picking up a piece of bacon. ]

This is just cured pork.

[thecoolerloki]

It's better than what we have in Asgard. Try it.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he takes a bite of it. ]

It's . . . crunchy.

[thecoolerloki]

And?

[dothelokimotion]

[ he shakes his head, bemused. ]

It's fine.

[thecoolerloki]

Fine, more for me!

[He pulls the plate back and pushes one of the remaining shakes forward.]

This one is cookies and cream. It's my second favorite after chocolate, so you might like it as well.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki takes it with another experimental sip. ]

I will admit . . . Midgardian sweets are far better than ours.

[thecoolerloki]

Right?! And yet no one serves them in Asgard! Volstagg's favorites are donuts, IDK if you've had those yet.

[dothelokimotion]

I've had donuts and pizza. Barton purchased those when we were . . . working.

[thecoolerloki]

Clint Barton, I presume? I wasn't aware he was present.

[He takes the cookies and cream shake and replaces it with a cake batter one, whatever Loki's favorite ends up being, he'll let him have it.]

And what do you mean working?

[dothelokimotion]

When I was trying to take over Earth.

[ he stirs the milkshake idly with a straw. ]

I had the Mind Stone then. He was an unwilling cog.

[thecoolerloki]

Ohhhhhh.

[Why didn't you just say so!]

That sounds more fun than all the times the old man did it. I don't think he and Norman Osborn had pizza dates. He and Doom might have, TBH, but it'd be some sort of fancy flatbread instead.

[dothelokimotion]

I think I had some of that at the opera.

[ before he took someone's eye. loki takes a sip of . . . cake batter milkshake? wild. ]

And I don't know how much fun it was. Invading and destroying is a lot of pointless work. Messy too.

[thecoolerloki]

Mm, I've never understood why our people enjoy it so much. I personally hate all forms of battles and wars.

[dothelokimotion]

[ a brief pause. ]

Neither did I. Even when I did it, I did it poorly. It never suited me.

[thecoolerloki]

I'm decent at manipulating wars to start and I don't mind that, so long as I don't have to be front and center for any of it.

[dothelokimotion]

I took over Asgard easily enough. No bloodshed.

They let me do whatever I wanted.

[thecoolerloki]

You ruled Asgard? I never tried, though I did cause a few shake-ups and coups.

[dothelokimotion]

For five years, yes.

I put Odin in an old folk's home on Earth and ruled as him.

[thecoolerloki]

Ah, that's perfect! Everyone on Midgard would think him insane, with the bonus irony of making him deal with the punishment he gave Thor so long ago.

[He takes back what he said about Odin being his owner, this is good mischief.]

Leah and I once fooled him into thinking we were Freyja, you know. It was a poor disguise, but apparently he was that desperate to return to their marital bed and consummate things or whatever.

[dothelokimotion]

[ his nose wrinkles. ]

He was never like that . . . I don't think.

[thecoolerloki]

[Loki shrugs.]

It was useful, we needed him to absorb Surtur's power and he was unlikely to come out of banishment simply to help solve a problem I caused.

[dothelokimotion]

No, he was always unwilling to solve problems. Even his own.

[thecoolerloki]

Seems that's true in every universe.

[sluuuuurp]

It must've been exhausting pretending to be Father for five years, mischief aside.