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[dothelokimotion]

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[ikols]

I fear only the ruin an angry soul like his could cause. He has a child's covetousness and jealousy, more dangerous than any lie or trick I could make, and more than that he resents that Thor ever forgave me for his murder.

For my brother knows me, knows what I did, and yet remains my brother still. We drink and eat together, as brothers should. This would break the boy to learn; his love is adoration scorned, in such circumstances.

[dothelokimotion]

[ yeah. if loki had been put in such a position, he would have become riotous with rage. he would have torn worlds apart. in a child, though, it feels even more painful. his time cut so short. ]

There must be something. He is here now. He deserves his own story, surely.

[ikols]

He is angry above all. I offered to take him home and keep him safe, but now I feel he would tear down Asgard itself atop me if it meant he could claim the title of Loki again.

Each time he names me his murderer he makes me closer to one by affecting my story, it is only my vast experience being visited by my future self who endured the same torture from others that I do not falter. As I said, I will not become his personal villain. We were both victims in the old one's schemes.

He could stay here and become the Loki of this realm ... but he misses Thor.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki's expression falls, unable to help himself. ]

Don't we all.

[ikols]

We can miss Thor without turning into obsessive little sociopaths about him.

[dothelokimotion]

That depends. Does he have anyone else besides Thor? Someone who remembers as he is?

Where does his memory live now?

[ikols]

In me.

His shade walks as a construct now and then, it ventures to spend time with Angela our sister and pops up to guilt-trip me when I think on him too often.

I was beaten before all of Asgard by Thor for the crime I committed. It has taken years for him to accept me.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he shakes his head. ]

It matters. But it's not enough. He'll be nothing but a footnote and if the roles were reversed, you would chafe.

[ikols]

Aye, but the difference is ... I am Loki, whereas he merely was.

[dothelokimotion]

And how is he supposed to think of himself as was? How does anyone?

[ how is anyone supposed to cope with hollowed loss of grief and pain? what would he have to fill it with? there's nothing. ]

He needs more.

[ikols]

This is why he remained dead, part of me. We cannot both be Loki. In his eternal rest he is Loki forever, in this realm he is a potent little redcap thirsting for what he knows not but cannot stop searching.

That boy is not a boy, he is one of us. His form is a mirror of his innocence. Power corrupts and he was never intended to have more of it.

[dothelokimotion]

[ is this why the boy had no magical power? ]

Thirsts can be managed. Or fed. Surely we can find a way to divert it?

[ikols]

I was given the memories and the magic, the lion's share, and it made me blind until a child was slain by my hand. He was not written to be a full-grown Loki, he does not know how to be anything but what he is.

Responsibility for his darker actions makes him cry, for Odin's sake.

He murdered Thor, you know. Sent him to Hel in exchange for peace on Asgard. That is not a sweet child with no schemes under his belt.

[dothelokimotion]

Yes. He mentioned something of that sort to me.

[ but to give up would be . . . what? loki isn't one to save people. he's never saved anything. only sacrificed himself towards the inevitable and hoped thor would carry the rest. he's not sure what to do, just that something needs to be done.

he looks away, rubbing his palms. ]

What would Thor do? Thor would find a way.

[ikols]

This is not Thor's business, it is for Loki to deal with Loki.

I would be kind to him, you know. I would have made this realm his own, and offered him a world to grow up in, yet all he is focused on is bitter envy.

The dead cannot change, a boy no more than an old man.

[dothelokimotion]

[ the boy needs more than kindness, but what, even loki is not sure. ]

But he is still not that old man. Is he?

[ikols]

He made himself an older image in my kitchen, like to me but not. A mirror distorts our faces with different lights.

It felt like ... watching him consume a piece of me that he ought not to touch. Years of my own I saw snatched away by childish, angry fingers.

Imagine if I wore your face and laughed in it.

[dothelokimotion]

You didn't answer my question.

Is he?

[ikols]

The thing is, it doesn't matter how I came to be or how he popped out of nowhere. All that matters are his actions, and so far he has spent them trying to convince people I am the evil creature who slayed a child.

He is as much the old man as I. We are Lokis from the same world, and we should not forget whence we came lest we backtrack with a foolish step ... or nine.

[dothelokimotion]

[ so, a yes and a no. they're both carrying these spectres and it's coming out in . . . unfortunate ways. he sighs. ]

This will end badly. For both of you.

[ikols]

He is forcing me to take up arms against him, you know. I must defend myself and those I care for from the jealous plottings of a sad child.

[dothelokimotion]

That is your decision.

[ikols]

My decision is the only one that counts when fighting myself.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he does look a little contrite at that. he may be a loki but he isn't truly involved. he cannot tip the scales or give either of them what they need. ]

I'm afraid so.