[There's a bit of silence as Thor tries to work out his thoughts in a way that make sense. He knows he's prone to ramble them in real time, but he wants to put in the effort to really think about what he wants to say.
After some time, he answers.]
Loki, you're my brother. I have .. always tried to accept you for who you are at any given moment. I know I haven't been perfect at it, and .. I'm sorry that I .. [He hesitates, again carefully choosing each word. His brother deserves the sincerity.] .. that I madeāor makeāyou feel like I only want you around some of the time. I meant it when I told you that I thought the world of you.
I still do.
[He exhales a sigh as the thought of losing Mjolnir still makes his chest ache with loss.] It isn't. I understand, I do. Butā [There's the sound of shuffling.] I know you're from a different time, but for me, the loss of it was recent. Like, a few days ago. And on the heels of losing Father.
But .. I recognize your .. different feelings about it. And .. I understand why you have them.
[ loki relaxes a little. it's not that he expected thor to feel differently but it was important to feel heard. perhaps this can work after all. perhaps they can make it work.
even if you're lying?
loki puts it aside. ]
I know. I shouldn't have brought it up, I — [ I wish our father had given me the same. but that's a childish wish.
love is for children. it's for fairytales and stars.
Loki is the God of Mischief, has been for over a thousand years, and sometimes, there is a cruelty that goes along with it. No, it can't be considered cruel; it's more defensive than anything else.
And there is a sadness that prickles the back of Thor's mind at this. How he may have contributed to Loki's suffering.]
I .. I don't blame you for it, nor do I hold it against you.
I don't want to be at constant war with you, Loki. I've never wanted that. And I can .. recognize my role in making that a difficult endeavour for you.
[He lets out a laugh.] Do you remember that time when Mother was teaching you her magic, and you kept moving Father's seat away from him every time he tried to sit down?
[Thor joins in the laughter, raspy and hearty and from deep in the belly.] He got over it eventually. I think that's when he knew how powerful you'd become. Mother knew right away.
And don't think I've forgotten the time you turned me into a frog.
Do you know how hard it is to reach the pantries when you're the size of a frog? Even with great jumping ability?
[He clears his throat, voice dropping in timbre.]
Fond memories aside, IāI think we did fairly well in .. talking things out. Considering how things are usually considered in our family. [His voice is strangely small, antithetical to his stature.] We are the only family we have left, Brother.
[ for a brief impulsive moment, loki wonders what it would be like to tell thor everything. that they could talk it out. maybe thor could even forgive him for what he did. they could make it work.
but his courage fails him. right now, he still had thor's regard. loki couldn't afford to lose it. not yet. not now. ]
Oh! Let me check. [There's the sound of rustling; he investigates the gashes left by Loki's machete.] They look like they're mostly healed. Well worth it. [Amused.] Was it therapeutic for you? To launch a blade at my head?
That sounds like an excellent way to — [ lose an eye he nearly says until his brain screeches, catching up to him. ] — get stabbed on a regular basis, Thor.
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After some time, he answers.]
Loki, you're my brother. I have .. always tried to accept you for who you are at any given moment. I know I haven't been perfect at it, and .. I'm sorry that I .. [He hesitates, again carefully choosing each word. His brother deserves the sincerity.] .. that I madeāor makeāyou feel like I only want you around some of the time. I meant it when I told you that I thought the world of you.
I still do.
[He exhales a sigh as the thought of losing Mjolnir still makes his chest ache with loss.] It isn't. I understand, I do. Butā [There's the sound of shuffling.] I know you're from a different time, but for me, the loss of it was recent. Like, a few days ago. And on the heels of losing Father.
But .. I recognize your .. different feelings about it. And .. I understand why you have them.
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even if you're lying?
loki puts it aside. ]
I know. I shouldn't have brought it up, I — [ I wish our father had given me the same. but that's a childish wish.
love is for children. it's for fairytales and stars.
it is not meant for loki. ]
— couldn't help myself.
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Loki is the God of Mischief, has been for over a thousand years, and sometimes, there is a cruelty that goes along with it. No, it can't be considered cruel; it's more defensive than anything else.
And there is a sadness that prickles the back of Thor's mind at this. How he may have contributed to Loki's suffering.]
I .. I don't blame you for it, nor do I hold it against you.
I don't want to be at constant war with you, Loki. I've never wanted that. And I can .. recognize my role in making that a difficult endeavour for you.
[He lets out a laugh.] Do you remember that time when Mother was teaching you her magic, and you kept moving Father's seat away from him every time he tried to sit down?
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And eventually he fell over. He complained about back pains for a month. He was quite cross with me.
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And don't think I've forgotten the time you turned me into a frog.
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[ this was fine. there's a certain numbness involved that loki isn't looking at too deeply. ]
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Do you know how hard it is to reach the pantries when you're the size of a frog? Even with great jumping ability?
[He clears his throat, voice dropping in timbre.]
Fond memories aside, IāI think we did fairly well in .. talking things out. Considering how things are usually considered in our family. [His voice is strangely small, antithetical to his stature.] We are the only family we have left, Brother.
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but his courage fails him. right now, he still had thor's regard. loki couldn't afford to lose it. not yet. not now. ]
. . . How are your wounds?
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Maybe a little. Though I don't think I want to do a repeat performance.
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Oh, bug entrails might be good for it if you're desperate. Don't ask me how I know that.
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You know, I've grown fond of the shorter style. Truly. [Okay, so there was still a little part that missed his longer locks.] .. Really.
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Very convincing, Thor.
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I could singe it off of you with my lightning.
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[ he's still alive, after all. despite all odds. ]
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Despite all odds.
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. . . As am I.
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