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[There's the sound of static and muffled movement.]

Is this working? Loki, do you hear me? [His voice is louder than it should be. The sound scrambles for a few more moments before going clear. The smile in his voice is apparent as he talks.]

Hello, Brother. I've been feeling badly about how we last left things, and I was hoping we could do what we were never really good at: talking it out. Now, I know that this will be a departure from our usual way of doing things, but we're in a new place! We can do it now. Maybe. Well, we can try.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the things I said. I want you to know that I'm grateful that you are here, and I am in your debt for your aid with regards to recovering my powers. Oh, can you hear me? Is it still recording? [There's the sound of the scrywatch shifting and being adjusted.] I won't force your hand, but I'm here.

If you need me.

Or want to talk.

You don't have to, though. There's no pressure, of course. You do .. whatever it is you want to do. But .. I'm here.

Edited 2021-07-09 03:58 (UTC)

[ it's true. talking has never been one of their strengths and loki can admit to himself quietly that he could have handled it better. he's buried worse indignities, so what if he had to suffer thor and his love for mjolnir? at this point, hasn't he suffered worse?

he died for this. he died for thor. what is the point of an oath if you get mad halfway?

still. no matter what he thinks, loki knows the reality isn't that simple. thor deserves a proper response.

I'm here. ]

It . . . always seems like you want me when I'm useful. And then you don't want me when we . . . disagree. I know Mjolnir was . . . precious to you. But it was different for me. Is that so hard to recognize?

[There's a bit of silence as Thor tries to work out his thoughts in a way that make sense. He knows he's prone to ramble them in real time, but he wants to put in the effort to really think about what he wants to say.

After some time, he answers.]

Loki, you're my brother. I have .. always tried to accept you for who you are at any given moment. I know I haven't been perfect at it, and .. I'm sorry that I .. [He hesitates, again carefully choosing each word. His brother deserves the sincerity.] .. that I made—or make—you feel like I only want you around some of the time. I meant it when I told you that I thought the world of you.

I still do.

[He exhales a sigh as the thought of losing Mjolnir still makes his chest ache with loss.] It isn't. I understand, I do. But— [There's the sound of shuffling.] I know you're from a different time, but for me, the loss of it was recent. Like, a few days ago. And on the heels of losing Father.

But .. I recognize your .. different feelings about it. And .. I understand why you have them.

[ loki relaxes a little. it's not that he expected thor to feel differently but it was important to feel heard. perhaps this can work after all. perhaps they can make it work.

even if you're lying?

loki puts it aside. ]

I know. I shouldn't have brought it up, I — [ I wish our father had given me the same. but that's a childish wish.

love is for children. it's for fairytales and stars.

it is not meant for loki. ]

— couldn't help myself.

[Thor should be used to this.

Loki is the God of Mischief, has been for over a thousand years, and sometimes, there is a cruelty that goes along with it. No, it can't be considered cruel; it's more defensive than anything else.

And there is a sadness that prickles the back of Thor's mind at this. How he may have contributed to Loki's suffering.]

I .. I don't blame you for it, nor do I hold it against you.

I don't want to be at constant war with you, Loki. I've never wanted that. And I can .. recognize my role in making that a difficult endeavour for you.

[He lets out a laugh.] Do you remember that time when Mother was teaching you her magic, and you kept moving Father's seat away from him every time he tried to sit down?

[ there's a soft, airy laugh. buttercream at the edges. ]

And eventually he fell over. He complained about back pains for a month. He was quite cross with me.

[Thor joins in the laughter, raspy and hearty and from deep in the belly.] He got over it eventually. I think that's when he knew how powerful you'd become. Mother knew right away.

And don't think I've forgotten the time you turned me into a frog.

Oh, you enjoyed your stint as a frog. Didn't it give you unlimited access to the kitchen?

[ this was fine. there's a certain numbness involved that loki isn't looking at too deeply. ]

[Thor makes a sound of uncommitted agreement.]

Do you know how hard it is to reach the pantries when you're the size of a frog? Even with great jumping ability?

[He clears his throat, voice dropping in timbre.]

Fond memories aside, I—I think we did fairly well in .. talking things out. Considering how things are usually considered in our family. [His voice is strangely small, antithetical to his stature.] We are the only family we have left, Brother.

[ for a brief impulsive moment, loki wonders what it would be like to tell thor everything. that they could talk it out. maybe thor could even forgive him for what he did. they could make it work.

but his courage fails him. right now, he still had thor's regard. loki couldn't afford to lose it. not yet. not now. ]

. . . How are your wounds?

Oh! Let me check. [There's the sound of rustling; he investigates the gashes left by Loki's machete.] They look like they're mostly healed. Well worth it. [Amused.] Was it therapeutic for you? To launch a blade at my head?

[ a low chuckle. ]

Maybe a little. Though I don't think I want to do a repeat performance.

Has your hair recovered? I never did find any hair gel in the village. I don't think they have anything like it.

Oh, bug entrails might be good for it if you're desperate. Don't ask me how I know that.

You're not putting bug entrails in my hair. Which is fine, by the way. Im unlike you, still retain my hair.

I can also find a creepy old man to cut your hair off, if you want. He'll give you a super great haircut like mine.

You know, I've grown fond of the shorter style. Truly. [Okay, so there was still a little part that missed his longer locks.] .. Really.

[ wryly. ]

Very convincing, Thor.

.. I'm going to find you a creepy old man to cut your hair, just for that.

Good luck with that, brother. I'm sure there are plenty of those to go around.

It doesn't have to be a creepy old man. It could be anyone, really, so long as they have scissors.

I could singe it off of you with my lightning.

That sounds like an excellent way to — [ lose an eye he nearly says until his brain screeches, catching up to him. ] — get stabbed on a regular basis, Thor.

You could only be so lucky, Brother.

Oh, I can assure you. My luck stills holds up.

[ he's still alive, after all. despite all odds. ]

[Thor lets out a small chuckle.] Yes, I imagine it does. It never really seems to leave you.

[ his voice turns wry. ]

Despite all odds.

[There's a bit of a pause before Thor chuckles a little.] I honestly never doubted it. All that aside, I'm glad you're here, Brother.

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