( ad astra ) inbox

[dothelokimotion]

@ tricks
text ✰ voice ✰ holovid

Comments

[scythias]

So, what do you believe in here?

( she's curious. )

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki falls quiet for a brief moment. ]

I believe in myself. It's all I have left these days.

[scythias]

( she nods. )

And what do you think of the people here? Do you believe in them?

[dothelokimotion]

Believe in what, precisely?

What can people do here?

[scythias]

What do they have to do besides be here, Loki?

( they were here and they wanted to be around him. )

What are you hoping people can do here?

[dothelokimotion]

[ but is it enough? it never seems to be. everything here is so gossamer, liker butterfly wings. a heartbeat.

you'll never be ready, he told thor once. loki was never ready. and now he readies himself for the end, over and over. the anomaly has a chokehold on his life. ]

Leave a mark, I suppose.

[scythias]

And you don't think anyone has?

( she smiles gently at him. )

[dothelokimotion]

I think when you're the only one left holding them . . . it doesn't feel real.

[scythias]

For me, I think it makes it more real. More special.

( because she knows that they can slip away quicker than she would like. )

[dothelokimotion]

It's never felt that way to me.

[ probably because it feels like losing and loki is too used to losing. ]

[scythias]

I get that.

( she wishes it felt different for him but she understands where he's coming from. )

And it takes a long time to change a way of thinking.

[dothelokimotion]

It's harder, I think, when you spend time around mortals. Loss isn't . . . common among Gods.

[scythias]

Have I ever told you about me?

( about exactly what she is. )

[dothelokimotion]

[ quietly. ]

In pieces. I know you are long-lived. But your heart remains human.

[scythias]

I don't think there's ever been a name for what I am.

( she's been called a god but she knows she's not. )

I've lived over six thousand years. Some have called me a god or immortalt but I'm not.

[dothelokimotion]

Do you need one?

[ he shrugs. ]

You could choose. Or you could not.

[scythias]

I choose to be Andy.

( she shrugs. )

But I'm over six thousand years old. I don't know how or why or why I was chosen. But I am.

[dothelokimotion]

"Chosen".

[ his fingers idly tap against the table. ]

I was chosen to die.

[scythias]

And considering you're sitting here with me right now...

( she pauses for a second. )

You're still here.

[dothelokimotion]

[ a loose shrug. ]

I was then chosen to be used. Chosen to play a part. And then discarded. Died a few times.

And I suppose I am here because the anomaly chose for me to live.

[scythias]

And do you think you're making the best of that second chance?

( since that's what she sees it as. )

[dothelokimotion]

As much as I can.

[ he doesn't know and the question makes him uncomfortable. how do you quantify something like that? ]

[scythias]

I think that's all you can do.

( she smiles, reaching for his hand. )

And I hope no one asks more of you.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he smiles, turning his palm upward so he can clasp it. ]

What would they ask anyway?

[scythias]

I don't know.

( of course he'd want specifics. she laughs. )

But if there's a possibility of getting more out of someone, someone will think to ask.