It depends on how you approach it. I can use my physicality the way I choose. I am not bound by gender or shape. And I have used it to get what I want.
[ especially on sakaar. ]
But when I don't need to . . . why does it matter? As long as I can demonstrate what is felt.
[ oh. when he agreed to the marriage, loki knew he was convincing himself to play a fantasy. to the idea that he could have anything lasting on this journey, something that was his, that the anomaly couldn't tear away from him.
it blossomed into so much more.
he tugs william's knuckles to his lips as he blinks the tears away. ]
[The entire moment feels a bit like a lump in the throat. Nevertheless, William's lips can't be stopped from twitching up into a smile, fingers squeezing tighter.]
Please trust this, mo laochain. [It takes shifting to get close enough to press a kiss to Loki's forehead, firm and present.] I am... immeasurably happy as I am. As we are.
[With the pieces of his husband he had, and with the pieces he suspected he didn't. With the nerves that bubbled up about the future, with the complexities of their own lives stretching in opposite directions.]
[ they slip past his cheeks, unbidden to pool near the collar of his tunic. but loki tilts his head slightly to press a soft kiss to the pads of william's fingertips. ]
[It's so easy to get stuck in the should-haves. It's so easy to find oneself at the bottom of a spiral, dragged down by the weight of perceived failure piled upon perceived failure.]
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dothelokimotion) wrote2020-04-18 07:42 am
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It depends on how you approach it. I can use my physicality the way I choose. I am not bound by gender or shape. And I have used it to get what I want.
[ especially on sakaar. ]
But when I don't need to . . . why does it matter? As long as I can demonstrate what is felt.
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Would a house demonstrate it well?
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It would mean . . . a future. Are you . . . sure about that? I'm not — I don't have any answers.
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[It's a learning process, navigating this uncertainty, but it doesn't hurt to face now.]
I would like, very much, to buy you a house. With a library and a garden and... a plan to remain there, with you, for whatever time we have.
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it blossomed into so much more.
he tugs william's knuckles to his lips as he blinks the tears away. ]
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I'm certain. That's enough.
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and what of thor? loki swore he wouldn't abandon thor again. could he choose selfishly? ] — I hope so.
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[With the pieces of his husband he had, and with the pieces he suspected he didn't. With the nerves that bubbled up about the future, with the complexities of their own lives stretching in opposite directions.]
Truly.
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As we are.
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[Just to be clear. Clear seems important.]
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William . . .
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Love is such a funny creature.]
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[This is the problem with honesty. This is the joy of honesty?]
You ought to rest.
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I'm fine. Truly.
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[But possibly here, where he could keep smoothing tear=tracks from his husband's cheeks.]
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You should. How are you feeling of late?
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[Given the very, very sorry state he'd been in before meeting Loki in the hall.]
You're to thank for that.
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It was the least I could do.
[ it wavers slightly. ]
I should have been there.
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[It's so easy to get stuck in the should-haves. It's so easy to find oneself at the bottom of a spiral, dragged down by the weight of perceived failure piled upon perceived failure.]
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My apologies. I . . . am still finding the right line to myself and being . . . decent.
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[Particularly not, he imagines, while so much had to be unlearned in the process. His thumb flits fretfully at Loki's cheek.]
Better today than yesterday.
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And better tomorrow, I would hope.
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You always manage to be. [Time for a light forehead kiss.] You'll manage better if you rest, I expect.
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Your presence is a balm.
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