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[dothelokimotion]

( you can reach Loki here )

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[rebuildyourruins]

I can think of many reasons, Loki.

[Not to put too fine a point on it. He lifts his glass and sips from it, watching Loki as he does so.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ his expression flickers. it's an opening but loki is loathe to take it. when he looks at thor, all he can see are the cracks. and it scares him. it scares him like nothing else ever has.

so he shrugs, running a finger over the rim of his glass, idle and lazy. ]

Oh, no doubt, but nothing is weighing on me.

[rebuildyourruins]

[Thor sees the falter in Loki's expression. He sees it, but he hears Loki say the opposite, and isn't that just like him? Just like they have been, over and over again. With a sigh, he sets his glass down, staring into it.]

Is that a lie?

[dothelokimotion]

[ his face is rueful. thor is far more perceptive these days. ]

It's not a complete lie.

[rebuildyourruins]

[It's the cost of all the time they've spent together, growing and changing. Thor just knows better. Ordinarily he wouldn't push, hasn't done much to prompt Loki in the aftermath of their memories because it's too painful to do so. But ... he's tired of it. This is all they have, and they spend all their time skirting around things they should look dead in the eye.]

Of course not. [It's not so surprising.] Only part of one.

[dothelokimotion]

You carry enough burdens, brother.

[ to kill thanos, to save the universe. heroic duties, written in scars. loki tilts his glass. ]

I rather not be one of them.

[rebuildyourruins]

Not that I don't appreciate the thought. [He shakes his head.] But I don't think it matters at this point. I'm not going to think of you as one.

[dothelokimotion]

Oh?

[ loki smiles faintly. ]

So what do you think of me as?

[rebuildyourruins]

Family.

[That's all he says. It's all he needs to say.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ damn sentimentality. damn that it keeps him here, even now. damn the impulse to hope, even now. hasn't he learned better? ]

You truly are hopeless, brother.

[rebuildyourruins]

You saying it over and over doesn't make it true.

[Not yet, at least.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ a small huff as he takes a sip. ]

No, I suppose not. I've come to expect it anyway.

[ softer. ]

Perhaps I need it to exist.

[rebuildyourruins]

You do?

[It's not the kind of sentiment Loki usually admits to.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ he's dead. at this point, what harm would sentiment do to him? that being said, there's still a thread of embarrassment that comes from saying so out loud and loki immediately slides his gaze away, nervous. ]

Don't look so surprised, Thor. Have some confidence.

[rebuildyourruins]

[Thor huffs a laugh, familiar enough with Loki's discomfort.]

Sorry. I don't doubt you! It's just a force of habit.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki scowls which eventually devolves into a pout. ]

[rebuildyourruins]

[Thor sips at his drink to hide his smile.]

Perhaps if you said it more often, I would grow used to it.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki shoots him a dirty look. ]

Don't push your luck.

[rebuildyourruins]

[All Loki gets in response is a chuckle, low and familiar.]

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki merely huffs. ]

Either way, it should be obvious. I made things painfully clear before my . . . parting.

[rebuildyourruins]

[It's the most apt description Loki could give. Thor wilts a little before nodding.]

Yeah. You did. Little though I like to think back on that moment.

[Staring into his glass for a moment, Thor takes a deep breath then turns to look at Loki. There's a question that's been plaguing him ever since that day and there's never been a good time to ask it. There still isn't one, but he has to ask, while things are as calm as they can be.]

Why didn't you tell me you had the Tesseract?

[dothelokimotion]

[ ah. loki's surprised this wasn't asked sooner, though they did have other things on their mind. he plays with his glass, absently. ]

The Tesseract was meant to be my means of escape. In case of Earth or . . . other complications.

[ in case thor changed his mind. or asgard. loki wasn't a fool. one good deed didn't change his standing. the possibility of being thrown out was still likely. a quiet pause. ]

It was also meant to be my bargaining chip. The Tesseract for a life. You knowing those things wouldn't have changed it.

[rebuildyourruins]

You don't know that.

[It comes out a little terse. Because if Thor had known about the Tesseract, there's every chance Loki would have had to speak about Thanos too. And if they had known in advance--]

You should have told me.

[dothelokimotion]

[ his eyes flash briefly. ]

And you would have done what, exactly? You wanted us to go to Earth. You wanted your friends. Friends who held Infinity Stones.

Even when I told you in this place, you dismissed me and my concerns.

[rebuildyourruins]

I don't know, because it didn't happen.

[How can Thor tell Loki now what he might have done differently? He can't go back to a time before he knew all of this and answer truthfully. He grits his teeth in frustration for a moment.]

I wasn't dismissing you. There was more I had to consider than just-- just you.