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[dothelokimotion]

( you can reach Loki here )

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[dothelokimotion]

I cannot deny that. I do not think he would or choose to.

But I suppose it bothers me to see him suffer so. It bothers me because I am responsible for it and I do not know how to fix it.

[sinistral]

I don’t know that I can give adequate advice. Fixing things isn’t exactly something I do. But he needs you in his life, and maybe he needs to hear that you WANT to be there.

[dothelokimotion]

Perhaps. You're not wrong.

I simply do not wish to give him false hope.

[sinistral]

Why do you have so little faith in yourself?

[dothelokimotion]

I suppose I had no reason to have faith in myself.

[sinistral]

And no faith in him either?

[dothelokimotion]

Of course I have faith in Thor. I always have.

[sinistral]

Interesting. You worry about giving him false hope but don’t believe that he could want and need you as you are. If you have faith in him, why do you doubt him so?

[dothelokimotion]

I do not doubt him.

I doubt . . . what I would bring. What I've already brought into his life.

My father said once that wherever I went, I brought death and destruction.

[sinistral]

Yet knowing what you’ve brought him, he wants you there still.

Someone told me that death gives rise to new life.

[dothelokimotion]

That is a strange way of putting it.

[sinistral]

Perhaps. Perhaps it’s just a platitude designed for people like us who have killed so much and so often that we hardly hesitate to do it again. I don’t know.

Are you afraid of anything?

[dothelokimotion]

It does feel that way.

Not so much anymore. All that I feared has already come to pass after all.

[sinistral]

Then why are you afraid of this?

[dothelokimotion]

He is all I have left here. And . . . I don't know what will happen to me if I leave this place.

[sinistral]

Will you not then use the time you have?

[dothelokimotion]

I will. Most certainly.

I suppose I worry.

[sinistral]

Because you can’t see the future. And because you can’t imagine one in which you matter.

Don’t hide from this. Please?

[dothelokimotion]

I won't.

At least I will try my best not to.

[sinistral]

If I can give you anything in strength, you just have to ask and it’s yours.

[dothelokimotion]

I know.

[ he believes it too. ]

Things have always been uncertain but never like this.

[sinistral]

Good.

[Even though that word is complicated for them there are times that it fits.]

Do you want to tell me?

[dothelokimotion]

About the uncertainty?

I have no plans. No future. I'm simply watching time pass by in this place.

[sinistral]

If you want. I won’t push.

Would you rather not have the time at all?

[dothelokimotion]

Sometimes, yes. I know I am fortunate to have it. But it feels like a slow crawl to a death I've already lived.

Thor, others. They all talk about finding ways to save me. I just think it's a waste of time. I keep dying. I've never learned how to stop.