[ penance inbox ]

[dothelokimotion]

( you can reach loki here )

Comments

[compelledtoprotect]

[No. Not at all. Not even close.]


'Course. I'm always fine. It's just been a little extra busy around the hotel lately, you know? Lots of stuff going on . . .

[dothelokimotion]

Such as?

[compelledtoprotect]

Battles. Being terrorized by Nightmares. Being turned into a zombie . . . The usual.


[He was trying to keep it light, but Steve wasn't doing great. There were a lot of things weighing on his shoulders. A lot. And Loki was one of the few people he felt safe to discuss them with. But he also didn't want to dump on the man, or be seen as . . . less. Not that he really thought Loki would view him that way. Not exactly anyway.]

[dothelokimotion]

Ah. That does sound quite tumultuous.

Do you wish to come by and visit?

[compelledtoprotect]

What have you been doing that you're so far removed from the general craziness?


[Steve was teasing, but he was also really concerned about Loki. It was harder to tell with Loki when he was teasing and when he was just hiding things. Not that he had any right to talk.]


You feelin a little lonely pretty man?

[dothelokimotion]

I suppose I am . . . rather removed from the rest. I've been here for a long time.

It doesn't seem worthwhile.

[compelledtoprotect]

[Ok he really disliked the sound of that. Steve sat up and stared into the camera, worry in his face.]


Loki. You're at home? I'm coming over. Now.

[dothelokimotion]

I am in my suite, yes. I will await you.

[compelledtoprotect]

Good.


[Steve moved his ass and was knocking on Loki's door in just a minute or two. Focusing on someone else was the best way to ignore his own issues.]


Loki?

[dothelokimotion]

[ he opens the door politely, stepping back to let steve in. ]

You came in a hurry.

[compelledtoprotect]

[Loki got snatched into a hug as Steve buried his face in the man's shoulder.]


You said you felt removed, and that it wasn't worthwhile anymore. Of course I came in a hurry.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki blinks before patting steve's back. ]

I don't think it is all that dire, Steve . . .

[compelledtoprotect]

[He grunted and held the man tighter. Hugging Loki helped. Hugging people always helped, but Loki was special.]


You're not allowed to leave yet. Or give up.

[dothelokimotion]

[ hmm. ]

I never said I would do either of those things.

[compelledtoprotect]

You sorta did five minutes ago. Or that's what I heard anyway.


[Steve finally relaxed his hold a little, pulling back to look at the man.]


You're really not allowed to leave me, ok? Not right now. Or to get all depressed and unhappy. I'm not sure I could fix that. I . . . I'm not really doin that great myself.

[dothelokimotion]

[ he blinks. ]

I am not depressed. What happened to you though?

[compelledtoprotect]

[He frowned. Loki's words had seemed pretty clear . . .]


Then why did you . . . mn. And I'm fine. I'm not . . . I'm fine.


[Idiot. Steve was a complete idiot.]

[dothelokimotion]

I told you what was on my mind. That does not mean I am faltering.

[ he rubs steve's shoulders. ]

But it seems you've had a trying time.

[compelledtoprotect]

[He sighed and hung his head, letting Loki's touch soothe him. He should never have opened his big fat mouth.]


Ok. If you're sure. And it's no worse than anyone else has had. This place is a special hell. I'm ok.

[dothelokimotion]

You do not seem okay. In fact, I would say you've been more and more depressed of late.

[compelledtoprotect]

Stop being so smart and perceptive. I'll make you leave.


[His voice was gruff, but a note of teasing was in it too. Steve knew they were in Loki's suite for one thing, and he didn't really mind having the man see through him. Well, he did, but at the same time he didn't. Loki had a lot more leeway than almost anyone else.]

[dothelokimotion]

Mmm.

[ loki rubs comforting circles into steve's back, cool hands sliding over his neck. ]

Speak. What happened?

[compelledtoprotect]

[Steve caught his breath on a sob, forcing it back down. But those cool hands, touching him so sweetly . . .]


I-I'm a monster.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki frowns. ]

That is absurd. You? Hardly.

[compelledtoprotect]

[He shook his head and pushed into those hands, taking the comfort they offered while it lasted.]


I am. I've done such terrible things! And I have no excuse. None. I've hurt people Loki. I've hurt them so badly . . .